Category Archives: Daily Living

You Butter Believe It, I’m Celebrating National Popcorn Day

Container of Movie Popcorn in a Colorful Cardboard Box

My Childhood Popcorn Memories

Popcorn has been one of my most favorite snacks since I was a little kid. I remember growing up and my mom popping kernels of it over the stove. She would dawn oven mittens and shake the covered pot from left to right. I could hear the kernels rattling in the bottom of the pot. I could smell the aroma of the corn popping. Ah, yes, the sweet anticipation! She had a serous knack or maybe a maternal instinct of knowing just when to remove the popcorn from the stove so that it didn’t burn. She knew exactly how much oil, salt and popcorn kernels to place in the pot. Most times it came out perfect. It was our Saturday afternoon treat along with watermelon slices. We would munch on popcorn watching episodes of Soul Train trying to figure out the scramble board and the latest dance moves.

Microwave Popcorn

Empish getting ready to use microwave

Then the 80s came and microwaves were all the rage. We slowly migrated to microwave popcorn instead of stovetop. This was a new invention and not bad tasting. Sometimes the challenge was getting the timing exact and it was different for different brands of popcorn. The worse thing in the world was the smell of burnt microwave popcorn wafting out of the kitchen. But the cool thing was there was little clean up. Microwave popcorn was self-contained so once the bag was empty just throw in the trash. There was no pots or bowls to wash afterward. And, of course, this new popcorn innovation didn’t stop us from our Saturday afternoon ritual of watching Soul Train. That continued on business as usual.

These days I don’t watch Soul Train anymore but still eat popcorn. Sometimes with my mom. Sometimes with friends. Sometimes by myself. I usually have a bag full at my local movie theater. But since COVID I have stayed home and had my popcorn while watching an audio describe movie.

Other Popcorn Options

I have had popcorn during the holidays. You know those Christmas canisters with the three sections. One for butter, one for cheddar, and one for Carmel. During my Christmas visits home, my family would enjoy one of those canisters while watching TV and sharing family stories and gossip. When my mom and I weren’t eating regular popcorn we enjoyed Cracker Jacks and Fiddle Faddle. I remember Cracker Jacks would come in these little boxes. Along with the caramel coated popcorn were peanuts and a little surprise inside. Not sure if Cracker Jacks is still around anymore. I am sure someone reading this post will let me know. As I got older I moved away from Cracker Jacks and ate Fiddle Faddle which is similar but no surprise inside. Then some years ago a friend introduce me to Poppycock. This one is the best as it is a gourmet caramel glazed popcorn with a variety of nuts like almonds, cashews, walnuts and peanuts. OMG, it is to die for!

Celebrate National Popcorn Day

All of these memories and thoughts of popcorn were prompted by the fact that today, Jan. 19, is National Popcorn Day. There is a National Popcorn Board. Yeah, who knew a board like this existed? Well, they decided to create this delicious day of celebration and I’m all in. I will be popping my bag of homestyle flavored popcorn. But what about you? Do you enjoy popcorn? If so, how will you celebrate this popular snack?

5 Microwave Cooking Hacks to Put the Ho Ho Ho in Your Holidays

Empish at gas stove

Mostly Use Gas Stove

I use the microwave mostly for heating foods but not for cooking. It comes in handy for warming up a nice mug of coco during these cold winter months. Or reheating leftovers and popping my all-time favorite snack, a buttery bag of popcorn, to munch on while watching an audio described movie. Otherwise, it is sitting on the kitchen counter holding double duty as a quick device for heating foods and a place holder for my vitamins, memo pads and other odds and ends.

When it comes to major meal preparation I cook on my stove. I love my gas stove and have been cooking with it for many years. I like the way it cooks quickly yet evenly but boy does it get hot in the kitchen! Microwaves cook quickly and evenly too and can be an excellent kitchen appliance when you want to keep it simple. Over time I have learned microwaves have more functionality than for what I gave them credit. Although, National Microwave Oven Day was on Dec 6th I still want to recognize the importance of this useful kitchen appliance especially as we are in the midst  of the holiday season and gathering for special meals with friends and family.

5 Holiday Microwave Cooking Hacks

If you  want to whip up something in a pinch, create a festive and savory side dish  or just cut down cooking time in the kitchen these holiday hacks are for you. Just be sure to follow safety guidelines for your make and model and you will be ready to go. Now, let’s get ready to Ho Ho Ho in the kitchen this holiday with five microwave cooking hacks:

1.  Drying herbs-spread herbs on a plate lined with paper towels and cover with another one and zap for 1 minute followed by 20 seconds bursts until fully dry. Then store whole or grind them. Fresh dry herbs are great for seasoning soups, meats or cooked veggies. I especially love herbs to season when roasting my turkey breast.

2.  Frying garlic-place sliced garlic in microwave safe bowl with neutral oil, like vegetable, and cook for 5 minutes, stir and cook in 1-minute intervals until golden. Then strain for salads or recipes. I absolutely love fresh sautéed garlic in a skillet on my stove. The fragrant smell is to die for but using the microwave is another great option too.

Empish getting ready to use microwave

3.  Toasting nuts and seeds-put nuts in neutral oil in a microwave safe bowl, like vegetable, for 1-minute intervals tossing in between until golden brown. No need to preheat the oven for this healthy snack. Great for pumpkin seeds, pine nuts or sunflower seeds.

4.  Steaming veggies-cover veggies with damp paper towels and microwave on high for a few minutes until veggies are tender then season to taste. Be careful of heat and steam from paper towels and food when removing. Great for green veggies like broccoli, spinach, green beans and brussels sprouts. I do this one all the time instead of bringing out my clunky 4-part steamer and filling with water. Then having to wash, clean and return to my pantry. Too much work!

5.  Cook sweet potatoes-cooking sweet potatoes in a conventional oven for either side dishes or desserts can take about an hour. This is too much time and too much heat in the kitchen. Scrub the potatoes clean and prick them with a fork. Microwave up to 4 potatoes for 6-8 minutes, rotating them periodically until tender.

Share Your Favorite Hack

Are you ready to use your microwave for cooking this holiday season? Tell me which hack resonated the most with you. Or do you have one of your own to share?

Hoopla: My Favorite App for Reading Commercial Audiobooks

Empish using iPhone

Discovered Hoopla App

I have shared off and on about an audiobook reader app I discovered this year called Hoopla. Well, to be perfectly honest a librarian told me about it. We were preparing for our virtual book club and I couldn’t find the selection in audio format. So, she suggested using Hoopla. And why did she do that? OMG! This app has been so wonderful since that day. So much so that I have almost abandoned my other book reading app, Voice Dream. In honor of National App Day, Dec 11th, I am going to share a bit more about this fantastic app and how it has enhanced my enjoyment of reading.

As many of you know the word app is short for application. It is a computer program or software and has grown rapidly over the years. Today there are apps for virtually everything imaginable. Every day I learn about an app that can help me do this or that. Some apps are free and some come with a cost. Some are simple to use and some are complicated. Some have raving reviews and some are pitiful. Regardless apps are here to stay and there are folks out there developing ones all the time.

App Accessibility

Now with that being said when I look for an app to use accessibility is numero uno. If I can’t access it as a blind person what is the point? The majority of apps I use are on my iPhone so that means they have to work with Voiceover, which is the accessibility feature build into Apple products for the blind and visually impaired. Things like edit boxes and radio buttons must work properly. AppleVIS does a great job reviewing apps for accessibility. I have gone to their website to research an app before downloading and especially before purchasing it. When it came to the Hoopla app I was already aware that it was fairly accessible and I wouldn’t have too many problems.

Hoopla Connects with Library

After downloading the app and creating a username and password I got to searching for the book for our discussion. The process was straightforward and took little time. The Hoopla app is free and who doesn’t like free? It connects directly with your local library. So, you need to be a current patron of the library and have a library card to use the app. Your library card number will be required as part of the set-up process. Since I’m active at my local library that was no problem.

Hoopla Offers More Than Books

Hoopla offers so much more than reading commercial audiobooks. They have a large music catalog. I have accessed all kinds of music. This has allowed me to expand my music library and listen to artist old and new. Recently I listened to Alicia Keys read her audiobook, “More Myself” and then listen to her music directly afterward. It was a wonderful experience to hear her story about her music career and then listen to her sing too. And all on the same app at no cost to me. You can’t beat that!

But wait, there’s more. Hoopla has   movies and TV shows too. Now, I have to say, I haven’t accessed this part of the app yet because there is no indication these films are available in audio description. But I have heard the catalog is plentiful. So, you will have to check that out and get back to me.

The last thing I want to point out on Hoopla you can access is eBooks. When you do a search for a book Hoopla will display the results in either audiobook, eBook or both. So, you have some options of how you want to read your selection. Personally, I like commercial audiobooks because eBooks are in a text format   and when read are with a synthesized voice not a human.

Other Cool Things

Other cool things about the app I like is I can borrow books immediately. They call it instant borrows. With other library apps you might have to take a number and wait in line but not on Hoopla. I can borrow and download right away. Then I have 21 days to read it and I can manually return it or it will be done automatically. No fines or fees. Again, you can’t beat that!

I can also borrow 10 selections per month. Hoopla displays the total and counts down as I borrow. When I exhaust the number I can’t borrow anymore until the next month and the number starts fresh. Since I have a limited number I reserve my commercial audiobooks for Hoopla and all other books I read someplace else. I find the quality of the audiobook readers to be excellent which can make or break a book for me.

Share Your Favorite App

For the book lovers reading this post, do you have a favorite book reading app? Have you heard of or use Hoopla? Share your experience as we continue to celebrate National App Day.

Justice Department sues Uber Over Wait Fee Disability Discrimination and I’m Not Surprised

Disabled Black Man in Wheelchair Boarding Bus
Disabled African American Man In Wheelchair Boarding Bus

Last week I heard on my news podcast and it was confirmed in my ADA email newsletter that the US Department of Justice was suing Uber for disability discrimination over its wait fee policy. AS I listened to the news I was elated. It was about time but as they say, “the wheels of justice roll slow.” I was not surprised at this news because for years Uber had been charging me wait fees. It has become part of the reason I moved away from using their service and started relying more heavily on their competitor, Lyft.

Lawsuit Against Uber Explained

According to the suit, Uber was discriminating against the disabled by not giving amble time to board the vehicle upon arrival. Uber charges a wait fee two minutes after a driver arrives, and the customer is charged until the car begins its trip. This policy was added back in 2016. Now, these fees are charged to everyone as a way to compensate drivers but were never intended for riders who are ready at their designated pickup location and/or need more time to get into the car. But fees were charged even when Uber was aware the wait time was disability related. For example, a person folding up a wheelchair or a blind person with a mobility aid navigating to the car.

My Experience with Wait Fees

This is what I find so interesting and why I felt the need to say something on my blog. I don’t typically speak on lawsuits but I will today. Uber says that wait fees were not intended to be charged to customers who are ready to go or who need extra time due to a disability. But I beg to differ because of my personal experience. I can’t begin to tell you the number of times I was already standing at the curb of my location when the Uber driver pulled up and I was still charged a wait fee. The number of times I had called the driver in advance letting them know I was blind, using a white cane and how I was dressed so they could easily find me and yet still charged a wait fee. The number of times I was standing with a store representative who helped load my shopping bags in the Uber car as I got in the back and was still charged a wait fee. The one time the driver asked my permission to go inside to the bathroom before we left and I said okay. Only later to be charged a wait fee.

Empish Holding White Cane at Street Intersection

So, my eyebrow is raised with a smirk on my face when Uber says the following, “We fundamentally disagree that our policies violate the ADA and will keep improving our products to support everyone’s ability to easily move around their communities.”

To add insult to injury, when I would alert Uber to the wait fee charges initially they would keep quoting the policy like I didn’t know what it said. As if I didn’t know that already. At first they would refund me the difference but would never explain why I was charged in the first place after I took the time to give details. Then after a while they stop the refunds altogether stating I had requested too many adjustments to my account. The wait fee amounts would be typically under a dollar, which is not much, but it was the principle of the thing that would get my blood boiling. I would do everything in my power to be ready when the driver showed up but it didn’t matter I would get charged anyway. So, now you understand why I finally left? I even asked around to other blind friends and they shared the same story. So, I knew it wasn’t personal but a bigger problem.

Transportation is Critical

Transportation is one of the most critical issues for those of us in the disability community, especially the blind and visually impaired. We need reliable and affordable transportation. Accessing our own transportation helps us maintain our self-confidence, independence and quality of life. I remember when Uber came to my town I was so excited and happy. The ability to get up and go like my sighted peers was absolutely wonderful. To not have to wait hours on public transportation was great. When things like this happen it really is hurtful and harmful to a community that is a bit vulnerable. It diminishes trust and respect for us as disabled folks. I am passionate about this topic and plan to give my comments to the US Department of Justice. They are asking for people with disabilities to share their experiences and I will do so. If you are disabled and have had problems with Uber’s wait fees I encourage you to do the same. You can contact the Justice Department at 833-591-0425 (toll-free), 202-305-6786, or send an email to Uber.Fee@usdoj.gov.

Hey Siri, What Special Occasion is It? It’s Your 10 Year Anniversary

Empish Using an iPhone

I remember several years ago, when I first started using an iPhone I was giving Siri a command. But before I did, I got distracted talking to my boyfriend at the time and said, “Oh, my God!” Siri heard me and immediately replied, “I am not a spiritual advisor. You must get a human being for that.” I looked down at my phone in shock and amazement. Did I hear correctly? Yes I did. Then I started to laugh loudly. My boyfriend asked me what was so funny and I shared with him what Siri said. Then he started laughing too. Siri can do all kinds of things; but that day she made it crystal clear that things related to religion was not one of them.

Since that day, I have become more skillful using my phone including Siri. Today I give her all kinds of commands. What is the weather for today? What is my doctor’s number? Set the timer for 10 minutes. Text this or that person. Spell the word Entrepreneur. Open Netflix or Overcast. These are some of the daily commands I give Siri and she doesn’t complain. This little personal assistant built into my iPhone has become so helpful over the years. I hate to admit it but I have become a little dependent on Siri to complete these tasks. When it comes time to cook in my kitchen or write a blog post I am hunting around for my phone so I can call up Siri for assistance.

This month is the 10-year anniversary of Siri. Some might say in all these years Siri should be doing more like other personal assistants on the market. Yet, for me I am happy with her performance. I am a low-tech person and the help I get is exactly what I need. So, Hey, Siri happy anniversary.

Making Smart Money Moves: How Accessible Online Banking Benefits My Life

Empish Working in Home Office

For the last several years I have enjoyed the independence and convenience of online banking. But there was a time when that wasn’t the case. I remember getting on the bus to make that commute to the bank. Rushing after work to get there before they closed. Or getting up at the crack of dawn to get there right when they open so I could be the first in line before work. Or locating a branch that was open on the weekend in a local grocery store letting me do double duty. Filling out deposit slips and getting paper statements in the mail. Well, those days are over for me. Online banking has become such a regular part of my daily life it is second nature. I just get online and log in to my account. It is just that fast. Just that simple. Just that accessible.

Yet, that is the thing. Accessible. If online banking were not accessible then I would be up the creek without a paddle. My independence would be gone. My privacy would be gone. I would be susceptible to fraud and identity theft, which happen to me in my early years of blindness. I would have to depend on sighted folks to help me with my financial management. So, let me really break it down. How valuable and how critical accessible online banking is to my life as a blind person. Why it should be accessible to anyone with a visual impairment.

All of my financial institutions I have accounts with are accessible. This means checking, saving, investments and credit cards. All of these accounts I can access online with my internet connection and my screen reader. I can perform the same functions as my sighted peers such as checking balances, pay bills and read statements. And, of course, the most important thing, getting paid!

Paying Bills Online

Initially I started using online banking for its easy and convenient bill pay feature. The endless drudgery and challenges of paying bills the old fashion way was difficult as I lost more vision. It was too much paper to keep track. You know how that goes when it is bill paying time. You got to write numerous checks, note them in the check register and then file away the bill invoice. I had to do all of that as a blind person. Then I had to get sighted help to address envelopes for mailing. Whew, that is a lot of work! So, online bill pay became one of my smart money moves. My billers are located in one place and when I log in I just input the amounts for payment and press the send button. Done. No more writing checks. No more check register. No addressing envelopes. It is all done online.

Empish Writing a Check

In fact, online banking for bill pay is a God sent because I can track my payments to my biller. I had to incidents where a biller told me they didn’t get my payment. At first I was stressed out. Then I remembered I paid through online bill pay and those payments could be tracked. After a sigh of relief, I went back to my bank and sent a confirmation of payment. It was just that simple. My bank backed me up on both situations and showed that I indeed paid the bill. Both billers accepted it and the situation was resolved. Now, if I had mailed it the old fashion way I might still be disputing that bill months later. You just can’t track those checks in the mail to well. We have all heard that story, right? The check is in the mail. But with online bill pay I don’t have to deal with that.

Reading Statements Online

Reading my statements online is another feature of online banking that is accessible for me. In the past I would have to scan my paper statements to read with an accessible scanning software. Or get a sighted person to read them, or not read them at all. None of these options were ideal. Scanning the statement would result in columns and rows sometimes being off track leading me to read facts and figures incorrectly. A sighted person left me vulnerable even though they were trustworthy. Not reading them at all left me ignorant of important financial information. Today, I can make smart money moves by going online and reading my statements. I can read them from the actual website or in an PDF file. Either way the process is fairly accessible.

Getting Paid Online

Lastly, online banking is accessible with my freelance writing income. Last year I shared about trying to deposit my blogging checks on my bank’s mobile app. It was a stressful and frustrating situation because the app was not accessible. I advocated for myself but hit a brick wall. So, I pivoted and encouraged my client to do electronic payments and they did. Most recently I had a client that sent me directions to connect to their payment system for direct deposit. It was completely accessible and I got my check in about a week’s time. No more paper checks in the mail. No more getting a ride to the bank to make a deposit. Getting access to my freelance income is another smart money move for me. On a side note, I work with folks that use Quickbooks and this software is accessible. I can easily make electronic payments to them for services rendered.

National Online Bank Day

Today, October 11th, is National Online Bank Day. Ally Bank founded this day in 2015 to honor its 1 millionth customer. But this day has expanded into an awareness campaign educating people about the topic. You can easily scroll the internet and find tons of info about online banks. Since traditional banks are closed today because of the federal holiday of Columbus Day and Indigenous People Day, this might be a good time to look at online banking and make some smart money moves yourself.

Listening in the Dark: My Favorite 10 Blind Podcast for 2021

Empish using iPhone

I am a huge podcast fan! I started listening to them as a great alternative to audiobooks on my long commute to work. Even after I started working from home my enjoyment didn’t diminish. I listen to them while I cook. While I eat. While I clean the house. While I relax on the sofa. And even while I take a shower. Yes, I love a good podcast. I noticed and increased when the pandemic struck last year and they are what’s hot right now. It seems like an explosion and everybody and their mamma is doing a podcast. Every time I open Overcast, my podcast app, and do a quick little search there are more new shows available. It has been amazing the volume of content to choose from.

I have tuned in to shows about a variety of topics from news and politics, finance, health and fitness, technology and entertainment. The range of subjects are as wide and vast as your imagination. Yet, as a blind person it wouldn’t be right to talk about podcasts and not share about the ones for the blind I love on my blog and of course on International Podcast Day. These ten shows about the blind address distinct aspects of our lives showing our diversity, humanity and love for life.

AppleVIS

1.  AppleVIS is an excellent resource for blind and low vision users of Apple products like the Mac, iPhone, iPad, Apple Watch, and Apple TV. Their podcast provides current and useful info for me on my iPhone. I learn about updates to iOS, tips and tricks on using my phone better, fixes on apps and so much more. And all from folks who are blind just like me.

Bold, Blind Beauty on AIR

2.  This is a fairly new podcast from the creator of Bold Blind Beauty, Stephanae McCoy. The focus is to “clear the air for more AIR”, meaning having Access, Inclusion and Representation because it’s essential for people with disabilities. We need these key elements to survive and thrive. The podcast reflects the content from her years of blogging where she interviews blind women and discusses health, beauty, fashion tips and so much more.

Eyes on Success

3.  Peter and Nancy Torpey host the Eyes on Success Podcast  and have been doing it for many years. They are truly dedicated to bringing useful and interesting content to the blind community. Each week they discuss products, services and daily living tips. They usually interview a special guest and have a segment called “The Tip of the Week,” which I find helpful.

Freedom Scientific Training and FS Cast

4.  Freedom Scientific is the company that makes my screen reader, JAWS. They produce two podcasts but I am lumping them together. The first one, called FS Cast, is a show discussing updates to the software, interviewing special guests and is also an archive of their open line chat, where people call in and ask questions. The other podcast is an archive of their training materials. This is a wonderful experience for me as I can keep my Windows skills up to date in a podcast format. For example, I just recently learn some new skills for Excel that will help me navigate spreadsheets better. I can listen on my phone while doing the steps on my computer. In the past I had to do both on the same device which was hard and cumbersome.

Hadley Presents

5.  I have taken remote courses from the Hadley Institute for the Blind and Visually Impaired and also listened to their podcast. This show brings on an expert in the field as it relates to blindness where specific topics are discussed. They have had mobility instructors, mental health professionals,,, a pharmaceutical company, a chef and many more. The topics are wide in range providing something for most everyone.

Mosen at Large

6.  I would dare to say John Mosen is a tech geek. As the host of Mosen at Large, Each episode he features something in the technology arena along with other topics of interest. The sound quality is exceptional and easy to listen to. Depending on the topic he will air listeners comments and views during the show. I particularly love this part because I get to hear the international perspectives of people with vision loss.

Picture This

7.  This podcast hosted by Carl Richardson and Brian Charlson explores audio description and accessible entertainment. The goal of Picture This is to bring awareness to this medium through interviews, demonstrations and sharing resources. Since I love a good audio described movie and TV show this podcast is right up my alley.

Reid My Mind Radio

8.  Thomas Reid hosts this podcast. It is from the perspective of a Black man adjusting to blindness as an adult. His content focuses on the typical things that most of us in the blind community deal with such as life, family, social stigmas and self-advocacy. On the Reid My Mind podcast, he will interview a special guest, discuss a thought-provoking topic, share a story or provide a useful resource along with his mindful and musical interjections.

Talk Description to Me

9.  When this podcast came out in 2020 I was so excited because of the type of content each episode examined. The two hosts J.J. Hunt and Christine Malec discuss recent events and topical issues to explore the content of important images and help place healthy descriptions in their cultural context. Through the Talk Description to Me Podcast I have learned so much because it is more than just an audio description podcast but a conversation  about current events as it relates to visual images.

Writing Works Wonders

10. This is my final blind podcast and interestingly enough my newest one. I started listening to Writing Works Wonders about a month ago because I wanted to expand my content and include podcast related to my writing career. This one was an added bonus because the writers are blind and visually impaired. The podcast, hosted by Cheryl McNeil Fisher & Kathleen P. King, is a recording from their live writing meetings and workshops where they might have a special guest, work on writing prompts, or critique each other’s work.

There you have it! My 10 favorite podcasts for the blind. So, what about you? What are your favorites? Share yours as we celebrate International Podcast Day.

Why I Loved the Story of a Blind Adulterous and His Deceitful Wife

Wall of Book Shelves

Reading with My Ears Book Review

How long can a husband who is going blind keep that fact from his wife? Can a Sighted Spouse Deceive Their Blind Partner Based on Vision Alone? Is it possible to commit adultery with a woman who is also your legal wife? What happens when the two meet and the truth is revealed? The book “Lady Folbroke’s Delicious Deception” by Christine Merrill addresses these questions and so much more.

Here is the overview by Barnes and Noble: Emily married the love of her life and hoped that he would learn to love her. Instead, he upped and left their country estate for London. Suffering the snub with dignity, three years on Emily has had enough! Confronting her errant husband, Emily sees that Adrian, Earl of Folbroke, has been robbed of his sight and doesn’t know her at all! Emily longs for her husband’s touch. If she plays his mistress by delicious deception, can he finally learn to love his wife?

Loved the Blind Main Character

Okay, you got the gist of this romance novel. Now, let me tell you why I absolutely loved reading it. And I am going to try really, really hard without giving away any spoilers because I want you to read and enjoy it too. So, here goes. The overall reason I loved the book was because of the blind antagonist, Adrian. I have read a lot of books over the years and rarely do I find a blind main character, especially one that is like a regular human being. Let me explain what I am talking about. Many times, people who are blind are portrayed in stereotypical ways. We are the super crip accomplishing huge feats that even sighted folks can’t do. Or we are like little angels that don’t sin or do anything bad. Or we are like Casper the Friendly Ghost hovering in the background like window dressing but have no real purpose or importance. Or we are asexual and either we don’t have/want sex or are not seen as sexually attractive. Are you getting my meaning now? I sure hope so because I am out of examples.

Struggles with Going Blind

So back to Adrian, the wayward husband. He abandons his wife and moves to the city. Why does he do this? Because he is going blind and can’t face the music. This is very realistic and true. Our society puts so much shame on becoming disabled. Many of us who go blind as adults have a real tough time dealing with it and then society, friends and family might not react well to the news. There is fear, shame   and anger when you are going blind. This story was way back in the day and it wasn’t like he had a support group, therapist or someone to call who understood what he was dealing with. So, he ran away.

Then the next thing he did, which a lot of us in the blind community do, is Fake it ‘til you make it. Adrian acted like a drunken fool and spent time around unseemly people as a way to deal with his situation. He pretended he could see when he couldn’t. He avoided his true social connections, family and of course his wife because they would see right through his charade. He acted this way because he was depressed and saw no future.

Process Blindness in a Positive Way

But in other ways he was processing his blindness in a positive way. He had started to use a stick (official white canes would not be developed until much later) to travel and get around. He got directions and remembered how to get to places he had been to before his vision decreased. He was also learning how to use his other senses. Merrill gave several good examples of this with his smell and hearing. Even his sense of touch was explored with touching clothing and body parts. This is a romance novel after all! You got to have some sexy love scenes and they were displayed in vivid description.

He was also figuring out his food plate which is a huge deal for us blind folks. Certain foods I don’t eat in public, like spaghetti with tomato sauce. Just a bit too messy! He wrote letters with a special writing guide. I have one similar and used quite often in my early days of vision loss.

I appreciated Merrill’s focus on Adrian’s resistance to connecting to the blind school yet wanting to help blind people. I totally understood this concept. During that time, the school for the blind only focused on vocational training whereas Adrian was an educated man. He had also been in the military and was a lord. This school wouldn’t have worked for someone on his level. yet, when he came across a blind woman who was begging on the street he offered to help her beyond just giving money.

Wife Decieves Blind Husband

Adrian is my blind hero and why I love this book. But his wife, Emily was interesting too. Once she discovers he can’t see and doesn’t recognize her she plans to deceive him. On the surface this seems cruel. But remember he left her in the dust for 3 years and has been committing adultery. So, girlfriend is doing a little payback! Deep down she loves him and wants to help him regardless of his vision problem. Lots of times when a person becomes disabled the marriage can fail because adjusting is difficult. Many times, the disability reveals problems and issues that were already there and hadn’t been delt with in the marriage. Such as the case in this story.

This novel of love and romance is a real yet sweet one. It was published in 2011 so I am sure it is available everywhere. I found it at my local library as an audiobook and listened to it on my Hoopla app. For my blind and visually impaired friends, it is available through the National Library Service for the Blind and Print Disabled. If you are looking for a story with complicated characters that are not one dimensional with some drama going on along with hot steamy  romance, this book is for you.

My Blindness Protected Me From the Full Grief and Horror of September 11th

Spray of White Funeral Flowers

For years I have said little to nothing about the September 11th attacks. Keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself for the most part. Not because I didn’t care or have empathy for all the people who suffered and died. Not because of the seriousness of the attack and later our involvement in a war. Rather it is because September 11th was such a visual event and being totally blind I struggle to have a connection to it.

Let me explain what I mean. First of all, this is not a blog post about where you were when x y z b happened. It is more about how my blindness protected or kept me from fully participating in a national, universal experience. This event was one of the first times I realized how my blindness separated me from other people. That I was different. In some strange, weird way it protected or kept me from entirely engaging in the pure devastation of the day. I was removed from it because I couldn’t see it. I was not able to totally share in our collective grief and horror.

Lost Vision Right Before September 11th

My father had passed away a few years before and I had gone totally blind in 1999. So, it’s not like I’m unfamiliar with grief, pain and suffering. Losing my vision and only 2 years prior was a real traumatic event and not one to shrug off easily. Therefore, I felt that my feelings of sadness and empathy were there and available. Still, something was missing.

Can’t Visualize the Attack

My roommate at the time attempted to describe the event. I had no visual memory of the Twin Towers only the Statue of Liberty. She positioned my hands as two tall buildings standing side by side. Then she took one of her hands and pushed it into one of mine to simulate one of the planes crashing into one of the towers. Yet, after all of that I still didn’t quite get what was happening. How do I visualize two tall skyscrapers falling down? How do I understand people jumping and falling out of buildings to their death? How do I visually process a large airplane flying directly into a building? How do I visualize a building collapsing into itself? And then the huge cloud of debris and dust that went up into the sky coming back down to cover everything and everybody on the ground. I could not visualize any of this no matter how hard I tried.

Book and Podcast Finally Help

It was years later when I read the fictional book title “False Impression” by Jeffrey Archer where one of the main characters was in New York on September 11th. The author vividly described the scene and action. The character was in one of the buildings in the staircase coming down. She escaped only to get caught up in the cloud of debris. Then I got it! The buildings falling, the people jumping to their death, and the cloud covering people on the ground. Things began to make sense. And all from reading a fictional book years later! Who would have thought?

It happened again last year when I was listening to the Talk Description To Me podcast. They did an excellent episode on September 11th. They described the day but more importantly they described photos. The one that is sealed in my memory is of a Black woman, named Marcy Boarders, who was covered in so much debris it was hard to identify her race until she wiped her face. She was called the “Dust Lady.” She was just covered from head to toe. It was just that awful. I could actually imagine this beautiful and distinguished woman in her nice business suit coated in filth and dust. As they described her appearance my heart sank. I was deeply saddened for what she and many others went through. Then to find out later she died from stomach cancer was terrible. Again, I got it. The images really sank in and I understood the gravity of the situation although many years later.

Speaking Up at 20th Anniversary

Now, we are here at the 20th anniversary. After all this time I feel I can say something about this day and not feel so disconnected. I can join in on the conversation when people recollect and share their stories. Yes, my blindness did protect me but I do understand better what happened from a visual perspective. It has taken time but knowing this helps me to be more mindful, empathetic and caring to people who experience loss on this day.

Library in Quarantine: My Book Clubs Are Virtual During the Pandemic

Two facemasks expressing love of libraries and African American authors

Book Club Before COVID

Before COVID came along and turn things upside down I physically attended two book clubs sponsored by my county library. One was bimonthly where we met at local restaurants. We would discuss some of the latest reads over appetizing cuisine and drinks. Occasionally, While being served, even the wait staff and management would chime in on our lively chatter. It was a great time to talk books, eat delicious food and socialize for about an hour.

My other book club met at the library in the activity room. AS we gathered once a month, we would have our discussion while munching on snacks of chips and salsa, slices of cake and various salads. We would laugh and share about our lives, work and family sometimes more than we talked about the book.

But that all came to a grinding halt and the library closed. No more book club meetings. No more discussions at local eateries. No more talking about life, work and family. Everything just stopped.

Using Zoom for Book Club

If you remember lots of people started working from home and kids were doing virtual learning. Everyone was trying to learn how to use Zoom. Slowly people started to use the videoconference platform for activities like family gatherings, medical appointments and exercise classes. Book club meetings were added to the list too. I was using Zoom before the pandemic. It started when I joined the Bookshare book discussion in the fall of 2019 and I participate to this day. Since this group is virtual members are from all over the place which is pretty cool. We are all blind or visually impaired because Bookshare provides digital books in text to speech. Each month we get together for a live chat to share our thoughts on reads we like, love or can’t stand.

Library Book Clubs Go Virtual

Empish Sitting in Front of Laptop Wearing Headset with Microphone

So, when my two library book clubs decided to go virtual I was good to go. It was not a huge transition for me because I was already a member of a virtual book club. I just added two more to the list and kept it moving! Now, you might be thinking, three book clubs are  a lot. That is a bunch of reading. That is a lot to keep up with. Well, I am an avid reader and although today is National Read a Book Day, I read constantly all the time. I read while cooking and cleaning. I read before bed. I read while in the shower. I read while commuting. I read while exercising.

Plus, I am a very organized person and keep a calendar of all my meetings and a book list so I don’t miss out. Being an introvert has been useful too. I still get the socialization and interaction I want without it being too much for my life and personality.

Actually, juggling three virtual book clubs has been easier than I thought for exactly all these reasons. If I had to do this in person, well that might be another conversation all together. So, I guess in a weird sort of way, the pandemic has helped keep me active and social. Attending virtual book clubs have been enjoyable for me. Yet, since I love reading I know when we finally get out of this pandemic, and we will, I will go back to the library and meet in person. It will be an adjustment but it will be a joy.